Olufunke GiwaWhile investigations are still ongoing, and a lot of questions begging for answers, we must pauseto do the needed drill-down on these critical questions.
In a parenting forum, parents were asked if they would like to put their wards in a boarding school in Nigeria, the consensus was No. Some shared their childhood experiences stating how unpleasant it was and more from others.
Based on the feedback I got from three educationists I spoke with, the boarding system is worse than what it used to be. With eroded moral values, parents wielding their influence and affluence as a tool and the school management being focused on financial sustainability of their business, character development of the child is lost.
While the issue of morals affects both day and boarders, the impact is felt more by the boarders who spend time away from home and their parents.
Could the situation have been better managed if Sylvester was a day student? Was he really bullied? How should schools handle bullying? What should a school management do when threatened by influential parents?
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Bullies have different ways of getting their prey to submit. They use threat, blackmail or lure them to a secluded area. Sylvester mentioned he was threatened hence he kept mute at the expense of his life. He only spoke when he couldn’t bear the pain any more.
Parents who use boarding services are encouraged to periodically visit the school. They should observe their children and check out for unusual behaviours such as withdrawal, timidity, loss of weight, poor academic performance, body injuries, and a poor outlook. Watch out for changes in tone or mood especially when speaking on the phone. Be Observant, it is skill the 21st parent must master.
Pay visits. No amount of money can make up for the loss of time or the loss of a child. For goodness sake, we are talking about a Child, a human being. If the school cannot answer questions or give you satisfactory responses when you make observations, please remove your child from such a school. Make your findings before putting your child in any school especially if the school is in a different state from where you reside.
We cannot leave the responsibility of raising our children to the school, they can only do as much. They have all manner of children on their hands, children who are poorly behaved, children who have been conditioned by wrong parental modelling, children with no sense of positive values.
The government has done well in indefinitely closing the school. But this is one school of many. How many Sylvester have to die before we put the right measures in place. We must not always utilize reactive measure but more of preventive ones.
Olufunke Giwa
Funke, or Coach FG (as she is widely known), is a certified life and parenting coach. She is also a therapist.
A business consultant, she provides strategy, training and human resources and marketing communications services to micro, small and medium sized businesses.
Due to her love for raising tomorrow's leaders, Olufunke served as a child mentor with EduAid, an education intervention initiative for public schools across Lagos State, Nigeria.
Over the years, she has spoken on various platforms to share parenting and allied tips, and also to help women deal with issues relating to the the home-front.
She is the author of “Parenting With Purpose”, her first published book, to share insights on becoming an intentional parent.
Married with 2 kids, she lives in Lagos, Nigeria.
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