Professor Einstein, I presume?
Professor Einstein, I presume?

Last week we discussed a particularly difficult subject, and to compensate for tasking your brain so much, I did promise you a humorous story involving Einstein and his chauffeur. Enjoy:

READ ALSO: Monkeypox Promoted To Superstardom

Join our WhatsApp Channel

In 1933 Professor Albert Einstein was in England to give a series of lectures on his Theory of General Relativity, which he first proposed in 1915 during the First World War. The driver assigned to drive him around was Mr Bottomley, who moonlighted as a member of an amateur dramatics society. Having accompanied Einstein to several lectures, Mr Bottomley became sufficiently acquainted with the Theory of General Relativity so much so that he could deliver the lecture himself complete with a German accent. In addition, he was familiar with most of the questions fielded by Einstein from the audience and could manage to a fair degree.

After finishing the last lecture but one in Einstein’s scheduled lectures in England, Einstein was tired and was sleeping soundly at the back seat of the car as they travelled to their next lecture. Mr Bottomley noticed this and tentatively asked Einstein when he woke up if he could relieve him in anyway to which Einstein replied that he wished somebody could deliver his lecture for him as he was tired and bored talking about the same thing. Mr Bottomley at once offered his services but Einstein was sceptical about the ability of Mr Bottomley to step into his “scientific” big shoes. Mr Bottomley pressed his case and like a true Englishman qualified his case with a wager of £10 to which Einstein reluctantly agreed.

The two gentlemen were almost of the same build and both wore glasses, so they exchanged clothes. This was at a time when communication was still a bit primitive compared to the present time, so, only a handful of people in the world knew what Einstein looked like. When they arrived at the university, Mr Bottomley was warmly received by the hosts thinking he was Einstein, and after tea and biscuits was called to the rostrum to deliver his lecture while the real Einstein was given a seat by the corner, out of the way of the glittering gathering.

Mr Bottomley delivered the lecture excellently employing his skill as an actor to improvise so that at the end of the lecture he received a rapturous ovation. Then it came to question time and Einstein was curious to know how Mr Bottomley would manage the occasion. The first few questions were simple enough to which Mr Bottomley gave some garbled answers and the audience being less the wiser took the answers as genuine and brilliant. But a professor in the audience who knew his onions asked a particularly tricky question. Mr Bottomley coughed and called for a glass of water, which was instantly brought to him. He took the glass of water, drank a bit, coughed.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” Cough. “I am sorry.” Cough. “I have a terrible attack of cough.” Cough. “But my protégé, Mr Bottomley, sitting over there,” and he pointed at Einstein. Cough. “Will field in the rest of the questions.” Cough. Cough. “Thank you.” Cough. Cough. Cough.

 

(Story taken from “Jokes and Short Stories to Brighten Your Day” by Dr Gabriel Chukwu Uguru; In preparation).

Dr Gabriel Uguru
+ posts

1 Comment

Comments are closed.

Man Offers Viral Little Girl In Peter Obi Rally Academic Scholarship To University Level
Previous Story

Man Offers Viral Little Girl In Peter Obi Rally Academic Scholarship To University Level

Next Story

Haaland, Foden’s Hat-tricks Lift Man City Against Man-United In 9-goal Thriller

Featured Stories

Latest from Opinion

Why This Moment Frightens

Fueled by Grace 

For thirty years, without break, a major public lecture or talkfest, as I prefer to call it, has marked my birthday. Thirty years ago the main speaker was a Revered Father called Matthew Hassan Kukah, now Catholic Bishop of Sokoto. He likes

𝗥𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆: 𝗢𝗻 “𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽’𝘀 𝗔𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗮”

By Emmanuel Orjih Join our WhatsApp Channel Dear Ms. Ruth Maclean, On January 18, 2026, The New York Times published your article titled “The Screwdriver Salesman Behind Trump’s Airstrikes in Nigeria.” The piece has since been republished and widely circulated in Nigeria and
Tertiary Education in Nigeria

Rivers State: A Cycle of Chaos – Will Anyone Listen?

Rivers State: A Cycle of Chaos – Will Anyone Listen? For three years, Rivers State has been trapped in a vortex of political turmoil, with no end in sight. The latest drama: a third impeachment attempt against Governor Siminalayi Fubara, amidst a

CBN, Policy Shifts and Economy

By Arize Nwobu The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has worked dedicatedly alongside the federal government and implemented policy shifts towards the reconfiguration of the economy to foster stability and sustainable growth, increase overall economic efficiency and improve living standard. CBN policy
Man Offers Viral Little Girl In Peter Obi Rally Academic Scholarship To University Level
Previous Story

Man Offers Viral Little Girl In Peter Obi Rally Academic Scholarship To University Level

Next Story

Haaland, Foden’s Hat-tricks Lift Man City Against Man-United In 9-goal Thriller

Don't Miss

Pope Francis Served The Church With Humility, Deep Love For The Poor – CBCN

Corruption And Killings In Nigeria: A Message From The Pope

I like to listen to world leaders. Their speeches help
Takeaways From Night 1 Of The Republican National Convention

Takeaways From Night 1 Of The Republican National Convention

Focus on Unity Amidst Division The Republican National Convention kicked