House To Rent: Only $50K Per Month

House To Rent …Only $50K Per Month

5 mins read

You would agree with me folks that the world is right now in more turmoil than usual, and that is saying something. We are welcoming with open arms and broad smiles Armageddon by sheepishly walking into a nuclear war, what with the USA and the rest of the “Collective” West fighting a proxy war with Russia over Ukraine.

And as if we do not have enough troubles already, within a short space of time, we have energy crisis with the cost of living skyrocketing. To top it all off, the USA can’t seem to know how to store secret documents. We have the USA’s officially “classified” documents turning up in most unlikely places, from Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in the exclusive enclave of Palm Beach, Florida, down to Joe Biden’s garage in Delaware. One would have thought that with the USA’s avaricious appetite for collecting information, she should know how to store them, but apparently not. Reminds you of any one? Homer Simpsons. While Homer likes to eat, he is sloppy about exercises. But more of that later.

I just wanted to let you in on an exclusive deal. But first, are you looking to move to the USA? If so, you must be in the market for a house to rent, in which case I might be able to help.

READ ALSO  COREN Laments Increased Cases Of Building Collapse

What do you say to renting a house in Wilmington, Delaware, USA? Sounds great? Good. It is a spacious house with a garage and is tucked away along the Greenville area of Wilmington, DE. The garage does not come with the rental but you can be allowed to wander in and out of the garage, if you wish. I must be frank with you, the average rent in the Wilmington area is about $2K pcm ( per calendar month), but seeing as this particular house is exclusive, I shall let you rent it for $50K pcm.

Before you tell me to stuff it where the sun does not shine and turn and walk away, may I hasten to add that the house is owned by President Joe Biden, the most powerful man in the world, and by extension the closest you could ever get to a god. Think about it, if you rent this house, you are practically touching power.

READ ALSO  House Rent, Cost Of Goods To Rise, As Nigerian Banks Raise Loan Interest

You are still not impressed? You must be a Republican or worse, a Russian and Chinese apologist, if not agent! But let me run a couple of goodies by you that come with the house, which I am sure will make you change your mind: I already told you that the house belongs to President Joe Biden, and that it has a garage, right? Inside the garage is parked a beautiful car, a 1967 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray C2 worth about $75K. No, you may not drive it, but you can look at it or touch it any time you are stressed out. It is therapeutic to look at a thing of beauty, you know.

Convinced to rent the house? No? You are definitely a Putin’s apologist, no wonder your eyes are close together! But wait a second. You like reading, am I right? What if I told you that besides the Corvette is also stored some US Government’s “classified” documents, which you are welcome to read (or sell) any time you want? This means that you would be among the few privileged persons in possession of the knowledge on why the USA and her other Western minions are committing “foaming-at-the-mouth” hubris over Ukraine.

READ ALSO  Tony Elumelu's Afriland Properties, Lagos State Sign Partnership To Develop Falomo Towers

I mean, what’s a little invasion between Super powers? International law-based order over Rules-based order? Multipolarity over Unipolarity? Semantics, my friend, semantics! But seriously, move over Rules-based order and Unipolarity. You are so yesterday. Welcome International law-based order and Multipolarity. How refreshing!

Oh, you would take the house? Excellent. Nice doing business with you. Would you mind signing here…, initial here …., and here. Congrats. May I be the first person to welcome you to life in the USA. Enjoy the house.

Support Investigative Journalism and Mentorship

Courageous Journalism of Truth,Transparency and Development is in the DNA of Prime Business Africa; By donating as little as N1000 or $1 today, you are helping to keep credible journalism and life-changing information free for all.

Dr Gabriel Uguru
+ posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.